Just a few days ago, I was thinking, "Man, I -really- need to update my portfolio over winter break." Inside, I was thinking how much of a drag it would be. Recreating the site from scratch (after I lost my hard drive). Updating all those notepad text files. It was going to be painful.
But I was sick of the layout. It had been that way for the past few years with very minimal changes or updates, if any. That alone motivated me to want to change it, but I wasn't so excited about it all. The truth was that I really didn't enjoy graphic and web designing like I used to. Just didn't feel it.
Back in high school, I was totally obsessed with it. I surfed the Internet like mad, observed the work of my art admirers, spent hours and hours trying to master the next Photoshop technique, and churned out a new layout to website every few weeks. I'd go into class, jumping up and down over a new trick I had learned the previous night (or that morning). I was excited, stoked, completely and utterly ecstatic (even after only getting a few hours of sleep and getting yelled at by my mom for not going to sleep when it was 4am in the morning). I even came back to my art -after- my junior year prom. Yes, after prom. After all that dancing and fun. My body was tired physically, but not enough to say "no" to art. Never. My friends thought I was completely nuts (and perhaps they still do ;p). I didn't care though. I loved what I was doing. That was all that mattered.
Somewhere down the road, after going to college, it changed. I stopped visiting the "uber elite" design communities, stopped updating my website, stopped clicking on the Photoshop icon on my desktop. I just didn't feel the same way anymore.
In fact, it's been so long that I forgot -that- feeling ... until this weekend when I updated my website. Going through my past work more closely and updating it with the new, the feelings I used to have returned. The memories, of course. I had forgotten how much I enjoyed creating art on a blank canvas. It's like giving a two-year-old crayons, so he/she can doodle over the walls of the house (I'm sure the parents love this!).
Note to Self
Back in freshmen year, upon entering Penn, I promised myself that I will -not- shortchange art. I will hold myself to that promise.
technorati tags: art, design, love, life, web design, graphic design